Minding manners, not business

As a country, we’re not big on manners. We do the Singaporean thing of minding our own business and eyeballing the floor when we happen to be in the presence of strangers. We score a seat in the train and pretend to fall asleep because it’s so much easier than dealing with the awkward situation of “should I offer my seat to that lady with a slightly roundish abdomen”.

“Good morning” and “How’s it going?” aren’t things you hear on a typical morning grind. In fact, all it takes is for your toddler to hold up the elevator for an extra 2 seconds and you hear the impatient “tsks” getting progressively audible.

Then there’re the establishments that seem determined to take the service out of customer service. The husband knows that I’m very particular about exactly what goes into my food. I order a double cheeseburger and it has to be without pickles, mustard and ketchup (yes, I know it technically is NOT a cheeseburger without them). My mee pok has to have chili but no vinegar or ketchup.

On good days, my order gets taken with a slight brow furrow and a curt nod. On other days, I get an irate “if you don’t ask for ketchup, we don’t put ketchup one hor.”

One time the husband was ordering dinner at a tze char stall and he politely asked the lady how long the wait was going to be. She proceeded to lose her marbles, screaming in Mandarin “you want to eat, you wait. If not, forget it.” We did wait, because the food is remarkably good there and besides, what’s dignity compared to the legendary claypot chicken? But imagine, the experience would have been so much better if he didn’t have to get yelled at.

With the kids, we’re determined to inculcate good manners. And not just the perfunctory “please” and “thank you’s” but the genuine enthusiasm that goes into being gracious and polite. The heartfelt compliments when they’re deserved and a kind word to someone who didn’t necessarily deserve it.

We’ve done a manners list. A set of rules for the kids to abide by, where the penalty for non-compliance is to not have McDonalds for a week. So basically, we win either way.

Ok, we also try to lead by example and do all of those things.

1. In the morning, say “morning momma/daddy” and round it up with a hug and a kiss. Don’t grunt and roll your eyes unless they’re rolling back into your head, and even then, it’s your own fault for tormenting me till midnight the night before.

2. When you want something, say please. If you want something really bad, say “pretty please mommy, btw you look so beautiful today, I really like your hair/jeans/smile/eyes.” Also doesn’t hurt to throw in a kiss.

3. If you don’t get what you want when you want it, it’s your prerogative to whine. But that only means you’re never going to get it. Ever.

4. When you get something, say thank you. You can also say “I love you so much, you’re the best mom in the world.”

5. Sometimes you’ll see other aunties/uncles/kids get into the lift with you. Smile and say “hello auntie.” If it’s a kid, you can give a hi-5. If it’s the weird uncle downstairs, stay the hell away from him.

6. When someone does something well, say “you did a great job”. Remember when you guys finished all your food and mommy said “great job, kids, you did well?” Like that.

7. When someone doesn’t do a really good job and there’s room for improvement, say “it’s ok, you can do it next time.” Remember the time you guys didn’t finish your food and mommy said “That wasn’t so good, no gummies. But it’s ok, you can do better at dinner?” Yeah, like that, except without the gummies part.

8. When you leave a house after a visit, say “bye and thank you for having me.” Don’t just grab your stuff and dash off. Or have a meltdown because it’s time to leave.

9. Be respectful to adults. That means not being rude or obnoxious. Obnoxious is when…forget it. Just don’t be rude.

10. Be nice to other kids. Unless they’re repeatedly mean to you then tell mommy and I’ll deal with it.

11. Sometimes when mommy is driving, mommy gets to be not very polite to other drivers when they do very bad driving. Cover your ears. One day, you will understand.

What’s on your manners list? Do tell. 

by DAPHNE on NOVEMBER 9, 2011

in LISTS YOU SHOULD PASTE ON YOUR FRIDGE, UNQUALIFIED PARENTING TIPS

If You Are Not a Parent, Don't Tell Me How to Parent!

Non-parents are notorious for knowing almost everything there is to know about parenting. Their children would never cry in a restaurant or go to a movie before 3. They would never throw a tantrum because she wouldn't "stand for it." How the mighty do fall once they have children. 

I actually enjoy watching people have children who were especially judgemental about parenting. It's funny to watch them think everything is easy at first and then learn that the first year is actually just a light warm-up compared to the real workout. Having children is exhausting and difficult and maddening in a way you can't imagine prior to having them.

Yes, that's right. You can't imagine. No matter how much you like to think you can. Non-parents are notorious for saying obnoxious things, but here are some of the biggest:

• "My child would never do that": "That" might be anything from being noisy in a restaurant to coloring on the walls with a purple crayon. Trust me, your kid will. So shut it.

• "Aren't you going to X?": Yes, my child just made a poopy joke. But I'm not going to punish him for it. I punished him for 10 other things this morning and it's just a poopy joke. If you had kids, you would know how common it is. So shut it.

• "Wow, I am so glad I don't have kids": We get it. Kids are hard and they look hard, but when you look at our little baby and you say things like that, it hurts us. Yes, even when they have runny noses, boogers in their eyes, and screams on their lips. Keep it to yourself and shut it.

• "I hate when parents (fill in the blank)": Here's the thing, just because we aren't giving our children a Popsicle to shut them up at the exact moment doesn't mean we never have. Since you don't have kids, you really don't know how you just try to survive from moment to moment. So shut it, please.

• "Just give him a movie!": Yes, my child's shouting is annoying me, too. And yes, it's making it hard to have a conversation, but the fact is, I don't just stick him in front of the TV and he is my child. No, he shouldn't interrupt, but he also shouldn't be placated with TV so you can tell me about your boyfriend's annoying habit. Shut it, please.

• "Wow, that outfit is interesting (*smirk)": Have you ever dealt with a 4-year-old's sense of self expression? No? Then be quiet. Why would I want my child to conform to your fashion needs just so you don't make fun of a child? Yes, this is what she wanted to wear, and yes, she looks a little "creative." But you wear black platform slides from 1996, so you have no room to talk. Shut it!

Posted by Sasha Brown-Worsham 

on July 28, 2011

Tears of a woman

A little boy asked his mother,
"Why are you crying?"

"Because I'm a woman," she told him.
..."I don't understand," he said.

His Mom just hugged him and said,
"And you never will."

Later the little boy asked his father,
"Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?"

"All women cry for no reason,"
was all his dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man,
still wondering why women cry.

Finally he put in a call to God.

When God got on the phone,
he asked,
"God, why do women cry so easily?"

God said:
"When I made the woman she had to be special.

I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world,
yet gentle enough to give comfort.

I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her
children.

I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up,

and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without
complaining.

I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances,
even when her child has hurt her very badly.

I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.

I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife,
but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him
unfalteringly.

And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers, exclusively to use whenever it is needed."

"You see my son," said God,

"the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears,

the figure that she carries,
or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes,
because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."

Keeping Skin Acne-Free

Dear friend,                  

As a father with four teenagers, I know all too well how this week's topic can affect a young person's self confidence. Fortunately for our children, my wife and I were introduced to Melaleuca before they were born.

I sincerely hope this information will be helpful to you or someone you know.

Regards,
Richard M. Barry

    

                                   

Keeping Skin Acne-Free

(Please read our disclaimer)

Although acne is common in adults, especially in women who are pregnant or taking birth control pills, it is much more common in teenagers. The common denominator in these conditions is a cascade of hormonal changes. Bothersome as a pimple or two might be for an adult, for a teenager acne can be a blow to their self esteem and a trigger for depression. A scientific study was conducted to see how prevalent the link is between acne and depressive symptoms, anxiety, and suicidal behaviors. The conclusion was that young people with acne are at increased risk of depression, anxiety, and suicide attempts.

This article presents some acne treatments, including antibiotic treatment, birth control pills, and the prescription Isotretinoin, better known as Accutane. Accutane has well-known risk factors, but this news article notes that the risks are higher than first expected.

Fortunately there are effective alternatives. This news article reports on three studies that showed the effectiveness of tea tree oil (Melaleuca oil) to treat acne. Also, we found a health article that tells us that fish oil supplements greatly benefit skin by regulating oil production to boost hydration and prevent acne.

The Melaleuca Wellness Guide advises us to reduce sugar consumption and avoid unhealthy fats. Get 20 grams of fiber including FiberWise Drink or Bars. Take Vitality 4 Essentials which include the Vitality Pack plus CellWise, a broad-spectrum antioxidant that helps fight inflammation, andFlorify, a probiotic. Probiotics protect your immune system and have been shown to fight acne bacteria. Take Coldwater Omega-3 to reduce inflammation. ProVex-Plus is a potent antioxidant that helps protect and heal skin.

The Zap-It Acne Treatment System was specially developed for the prevention of acne. Consistent use of this system usually delivers clear skin. In addition you can apply T36-C5to any developing pimple.

Conclusion

Acne should not be ignored. Life can be humiliating enough without the extra burden of acne. A few simple consistent changes in diet, routine, plus a little bit of time can make all the difference. For more information see this RM Barry Research Report.

~ Richard M Barry

The Melaleuca Wellness GuideSuccess Stories

The people below will receive a free Melaleuca Wellness Guide for submitting their stories.

Thank you SO much for publishing The Melaleuca Wellness Guide! It is truly an indispensable addition to our family library. In fact, its the most used book on our shelf! We have referred to it for treatment of various ailments such as warts, acne, hot flashes, diabetes, joint pain, fleas, and laundry challenges. I used to have to ask my daughters to get the book for me to look up what to do. Now they just bring the book to me, or look it up themselves! We could NEVER be without our Wellness Guide!

~ Toni

Acne Success Stories

The people below will receive a free Melaleuca Wellness Guide for submitting their stories.

Prior to opening my shopping account with Melaleuca we ordered Proactive for our teenage son. It was very expensive and only worked marginally. One of the first Melaleuca products we tried was the Zap-It Acne Defense System and we couldn't believe how quickly it cleared up his complexion, and at a fraction of the cost that we had paid for Proactive. As he continued to use Zap-It, if he did have a break-out it was only slight and he would also apply the MelaGel at night. Between MelaGel and the Zap-it Quick Stick Acne Spot Treatment it would clear it up almost immediately!

Now I have to share with you my personal story. I never had acne as a teenager. It waited until I was an adult to bless me with its presence. I also use the Zap-it Facial Wash and the Deep Clean Astringent Acne Medication on a daily basis and it never dries my skin out. And it works great for my 52 year old skin! It gives you great confidence to go out and face the world and not worry about acne, no matter what your age!

~ Susan

As a woman in my mid fifties one does not expect to be still having issues with pimples. However over the last year I found myself periodically getting sometimes painful blind spots on my chin. A couple of months ago I came across a bottle of Zap-It Facial Wash that was left by my grown daughter who has moved out. I decided to try washing with this vigorously every morning. Within a matter of about 5 days the spots cleared up. What an amazing product, which I have now added to my daily routine.

~ Hilary

My husband and I have both suffered with severe adult acne. After successfully using the Renew Lotion to clear up other skin conditions, we decided to give it a try on our faces, and to our surprise, it worked! I have oily skin and was skeptical, but figured my skin couldn't get any worse...in less than 30 days BOTH of us had completely clear faces, free of acne, after applying the Renew lotion over the entire face once daily (after showering). My husband had deep pits and scarring left over from teenage acne; we've been using the Renew on our faces for a few months now, and the scarring is nearly completely gone, our skin tone has evened out, and the pits on his face are less than half as deep. We've recommended this Renew "treatment" to others and they've seen similar results. However, it does not appear to work for teenage acne, just adult acne. Thank you Melaleuca!!!

~ Heather

A friend of my daughters, who is at her grandmother's about 3 times a year, came over this last summer. The kids were going to go do something the next day so she stayed overnight at my house and I noticed she really had lots of acne on her forehead and her back. I let her put on the Melaleuca's Zap-it Acne Treatment Cream and the next morning it was almost 100% better. She went home that evening and her grandma asked "what did you use on your forehead" and she told her. She called me up the next day wanting the acne medication and I ordered her 2 tubes. She said when they run out she will definitely call me again to get more. She said it really was working quite well for her granddaughter.

~ Angie

I have been a Melaleuca customer since January 2010. When I became a customer I was informed that Melaleuca had products to treat acne, and since I was very pleased with other products I had used, I thought I would give it a try. I have used prescription acne medications since I was about 30 years old (12 years), usually using benzoyl peroxide wash and retinol cream. The prescriptions did very well for my skin and it was always pretty well clear while I used them. I ran out of my prescriptions and instead of making a trip to the doctor I decided to try the Zap-It products. I was so happy to see that they worked just as well as my prescription strength medications, and I have been using Zap-It ever since!!

~ Susan

Well, acne was the whole reason why I gave Melaleuca a try. I had acne that started in the third grade. As I grew older I ended up with cystic acne, and the only way to rid myself of it was to go to the doctor and have shots put in my face. I ended up with one cystic blemish that was so bad on my cheek that I could see it when I talked. It was so raised and round under the skin; very painful. I had tried everything in the past 3 months to get rid of it hoping to avoid having a shot. I was skeptical because of how affordable the Zap-It system was, and thought it wouldn't work because I had paid high dollar for Clinique, Mary Kay, Origins, and some others. The cyst was just not budging! I was encouraged to order the Vitality Pack, the MelaPower, and the Zap-It 4 step system. I am here to report that in 3 days my face was clear! I haven't had to have a shot in my face in almost 8 years! Thank you Melaleuca for m aking a product that allows me to feel better and more comfortable in my own skin!

~ Angela

Bedbug Treatments - More Scary than the Bedbugs

Bedbug Treatments - More Scary than the Bedbugs

(Please read our disclaimer)

Last week the CDC released a report about the dangers of bedbug pesticides. The CDC released a study reporting on 111 cases of pesticide-illness from 7 states. Contributing factors to insecticide-related illness were: failure to wash or change pesticide-treated bedding, not notifying workers or occupants that pesticides had been applied, and excessive insecticide application. The following article presents the argument that the risks of pesticides, even at low-level exposure, are underestimated.

Newspapers reported the tragic story of the death of a woman who was in such a panic to rid herself of bedbugs that she liberally doused herself and her home with pesticides. The unfortunate story can be found here.

The CDC reports that bedbugs are becoming increasingly resistant to insecticides. Therefore our focus is on prevention.Here are 5 tips to help you stay bedbug free as you travel (Note commenter #11). Melaleuca customers who travel report that using Sol-U-Mel keeps the bedbugs away. The suggestion is to lightly spray diluted Sol-U-Mel on the headboard and the area around the bed.

So while we are deep asleep, how do bedbugs find us? Bedbugs are insects, like lice or mosquitoes, with antennae that help them sense the presence of carbon dioxide in our breath. Bedbugs are also drawn by our body heat. Some insecticides such as Deet do not kill insects on contact but act as repellents. They seem to mask the scent of humans. In a previous newsletter we had a reference to a study that showed that Melaleuca oil and lavender oil worked as repellents for lice. Since bedbugs, as well as mosquitoes and lice, have the insect-smelling or sensing system, perhapsSol-U-Mel, which is rich in Melaleuca Oil, helps to mask our presence. For more pictures and tips visit this education website.

If you do find that you have brought bedbugs home, take calm action to avoid an infestation. The Melaleuca Wellness Guide suggests that you pull the bed and headboard away from the wall. Smear the bed frame legs with petroleum jelly. Buy extra vacuum bags. Do a daily thorough vacuum of the seams in the mattress, the box spring, the headboard, baseboard, and floor. After each vacuuming, seal the used vacuum bag in plastic and discard. Launder bedding and clothing in hot water, and dry on the hottest setting. Spray the mattress and surrounding with Sol-U-Guard Botanical orSol-U-Mel. Be vigilant because bedbugs hatch in 6 to 17 days.

Conclusion

Always carefully follow direction on any product used for any purpose. Don't panic. When it comes to remedies, just because the recommended amount is good, even if it is a "natural product," more does not necessarily make it better. There is a reason excess use is called "over-kill."

~ Richard M Barry

Bedbug Success Stories

The people below will receive a free Melaleuca Wellness Guide for submitting their stories.

Bedbugs! What bedbugs? We spray our rooms and sheets with Sol-U-Mel on a regular basis and we don't have problems with bedbugs, spiders, ticks, fleas, etc. We love MELALEUCA for the "preventive" qualities. :)

~ Julie

I stayed at a thought-to-be-convenient motel nearby the convention this past August, and unfortunately brought back some bedbugs with me. I didn't really pay attention to the bites for a couple of days because they were so unobtrusive, on my lower legs. When I finally realized what was going on, I changed my sheets and sprayed the area with regular diluted Sol-U-Mel for three days in a row, about half a bottle each day--to make sure. After that, everything has been fine.

~ Ted

A few years ago I was privileged to attend one of Lewis Rasmussen's Product Workshops. He shared with us that as a Vice President with Melaleuca, he travels extensively and always carries a bottle of Sol-U-Mel spray to treat his overnight accommodations for bedbug prevention. In all his years of travel he reported that he has never had an encounter with bedbugs. He told the story of one of his colleagues who, at the time, didn't believe bedbugs were such a problem (Mind you this was years ago). His friend would laugh at Lewis' precautions. Lewis grinned as he told us that one night while his colleague was staying at a very nice hotel, he was awakened with bedbugs biting him. He called the front desk, only to be told that there were no other rooms available, and that the best they could do was to provide a cot. That made him a believer!

~ Gloria

Bed bugs can happen in the cleanest of homes. We have a spare bedroom that we had to take action with regarding bedbugs. It is important to thoroughly vacuum down the room, vacuum the mattress very well. Spray the whole mattress (and pillows) down with Sol-U-Mel. Run a humidifier with 10 drops of oil or so and a few capfuls of Sol-U-Mel in the room for a day. Be sure all of the sheets and pillow cases have been changed out as well. Wash them in MelaPower with a few capfuls of Sol-U-Mel. Good night - Sleep tight - No bedbugs to bite!

~ Trixie

The Melaleuca Wellness Guide

Widely recognized as the definitive resource for the many questions about uses of Melaleuca products,The Melaleuca Wellness Guidefeatures over 200 health solutions, over 150 cleaning solutions, and over 215 suggestions for cats, dogs, horses, and farm animals.

Many Melaleuca Marketing Executives have found that when they make sure their new customers have The Melaleuca Wellness Guide, they are happier with their choice to switch stores. Using The Melaleuca Wellness Guide helps people understand the many applications for Melaleuca products. Understanding of the products helps create product-centered organizations which have higher average order size and retention rates.

For more information on how to become a member of Melaleuca, and receive their amazing wellness products email me @

malissa.familygreen.donaldson@gmail.com

Renew Lotion

To make an effective moisturizer, everything depends on combining high amounts of two ingredients—glycerin and a powerful moisture barrier.

However, adding glycerin makes a lotion heavier and stickier. Adding a moisture barrier makes a lotion feel greasier. As a result, many moisturizer brands simply use less of each ingredient. They achieve a lighter, creamier lotion, but without the strong moisturizing powers of a truly beneficial lotion.

When Melaleuca scientists set out to create Renew, they found a different solution—a breakthrough technology that made it possible to mix glycerin and a moisture barrier in high amounts in a lotion that was still light and pleasant-feeling. It's the world's absolute best long-term solution for chronic dry skin.

For more information email me at malissa.familygreen.donaldson@gmail.com

SISTERS

A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day,drinking iced tea and visiting with her mother. Asthey talked about life, about marriage, about theresponsibilities of life and the obligations ofadulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in herglass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glanceupon her daughter.

'Don't forget your sisters,' she advised, swirling the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass. 'They'll be more important as you get older. No matter howmuch you love your husband, no matter how much you love the children you may have, you are still going

to need sisters. Remember to go places with them now and then; do things with them.'

'Remember that 'sisters' means ALL the women...your girlfriends, your daughters, and all your otherwomen relatives too. 'You'll need other women. Women always do.'

What a funny piece of advice!' the young womanthought. Haven't I just gotten married?

Haven't I just joined the couple-world? I'm now amarried woman, for goodness sake! A grownup! Surely my husband and the family we may start will be all I need to make my life worthwhile!'

But she listened to her mother. She kept contactwith her sisters and made more women friends each year. As the years tumbled by, one after another, she gradually came to understand that her mother really knew what she was talking about. As time and nature work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman,

sisters are the mainstays of her life.

After more than 50 years of living in this world,here is what I've learned:

THIS SAYS IT ALL:

Time passes.

Life happens.

Distance separates.

Children grow up.

Jobs come and go.

Love waxes and wanes.

Men don't do what they're supposed to do.

Hearts break.

Parents die.

Colleagues forget favors.

Careers end.

BUT.........

Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you. A girl friend is never farther away than needing her can reach.

When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on,praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's end.

Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walkbeside you....Or come in and carry you out.

Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters,

daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law, Mothers,Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins, and extended family: all bless our life!

The world wouldn't be the same without women, and neither would I. When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other.

Every day, we need each other still